I’ve become terrible at meeting deadlines. Somehow I just don’t feel the urdge to decently start formulating my thoughts before a well 10% of the given time is left. Of course, research, brainstorm and notation is kicked off right away, but the actual production process is put on a shelf located as far as possible. My excuse for this is that I spend a terrible amount of time thinking about what I have to do, before actually doing it, thus often leaving way too little time for the production process itself. This way I make sure the underlying theory of whatever it is that I am doing is as flawless, innovative and creative as possible. To me the theory, the idea, the structure and the consistency of the product is way more important than the product itself.
This is exactly the response that I often get from my teachers, that the ideas behind the work that I do are way beyond what is expected or desired, and that is the way I like it!(Of course, as long as what is expected is still met.) Unfortunately there are two very important expectations that I am terrible at, one being time, and the other being length of the written piece work. I do not know how much I will write before I write it, and since I formulate everything at the last moment, I do not have the time, nor the will to shorten the thoughts down, since I already do not write something unless it absolutely has to be there! Unfortunately a lot of things do have to be there according to my own opinnion. I have walked around struggling to fight this dilemma, thus also falling further and further behind with my assignments because of it, which is a terrible thing, since these are the last assignments before my highschool graduation.
I love doing things, thinking, formulating, and even writing huge reports about doing it, but I give little attention to the limits of time and breadth of the project that I am doing. In my mind it has to be the best work possible, not just a piece of work that meets the desired requirements or is done with the right constraints. In contrast I love what I do, no matter what I do, so whereas most people get stressed out and start hating their piece of work by its finalization, I can not be more proud of my work when I hand it in a few days late. Or well, I rather wish I had just a little more time to polish it, but that would be stretching the grace period a bit too much.
Note: I guess this also makes me a terrible software developer, unable to get any project beyond the alpha stage.
In the recent days I have noticed that I in fact feel immense satisfaction going all-in on my project the nights up to the deadline, only to be a few short strokes from the finishline at the actual time of hand-in, and thus totally missing the deadline because I can’t stand anything alsmost done. It is boring to hand in on time, to hand in with the right contstraints, it fun to break down the walls of these constraints completely, only to pull them back together imidiately after, sometimes way better than they were before. Rules are made to be broken, and so are walls, and constraints. Unfortunately I can not simply change the world to my will(although often you can), and I wish I had figured that out earlier. I must force myself back into those constraints, optimizing my time and becoming more productive in my every day.
What I plan on doing from now-on is making personal deadlines to every single project, instead of following the assigned one. Placing my own personal deadline a good 10-5% of time before hand in, pushing it to the last right up to that moment, and letting go right after, checking through and polishing the work in the remaining time, thus making sure I can hand in the project on time. I will have to train doing this A LOT before I go off to University, but hey, I have a few months to spare and tons of projects to set off 🙂
P.S. Although this model still irritates me because I do not use all the time at hand 🙂